You had such extravagant dreams. You were ready to commit. You thought you’d be together forever. But then, your offer wasn’t accepted. You lost the house. How do you get over the heartache? Here are five ways to heal after you miss out on the house of your dreams.
1. Symptom: You know it was “just a house”, but you’re heartbroken.
Solution: Let yourself feel all the emotions.
Don’t bury your feelings. Don’t pretend it’s not a big deal. Let yourself feel every emotion that courses through you – sadness, frustration, disappointment, and/or emptiness. Cry if you need to, scream, or go for a run, take out your anger on a punching bag. It’s okay to mourn a lost dream. Take some time to grieve and heal.
2. Symptom: You can’t stop looking at the listing.
Solution: Take some time for yourself.
While you were house hunting, did you save every penny for your down payment? Did you skip vacations so you could put all your focus on the home search? It’s time for a getaway. You’ll find your perfect home eventually, but you need to take a step back and enjoy yourself for a few days.
3. Symptom: You “accidentally” keep driving by.
Solution: Stay away from the house.
Don’t casually drive by the house to see if it’s pending or sold. Don’t even drive by the neighborhood, if possible. Don’t forget to take it out of your favorites on Zillow or Trulia so you don’t see it constantly. These reminders will only encourage you to obsess over what might have been.
4. Symptom: You regret ever seeing the house.
Solution: Learn from the heartache.
Anger and frustration are fine and even normal. But you should view your experience as a lesson, not a failure. Examine what worked and didn’t work with the home buying process. What might help you succeed next time? Did you make a lowball offer? Could you have compromised on a few features? It might be time to look at different traits in a house so you come out victorious next time.
5. Symptom: You want to get back in the house hunting game, but you’re overwhelmed.
Solution: Get back out there.
When you’re ready, rest easy with the knowledge that it’s okay to test the waters again. When you start looking at the abundance of homes on Trulia, you might wonder how you got so obsessed with just one anyways.